Monday, December 31, 2007

What's Your Recipe?

The Recipe For Pappy

3 parts Originality
2 parts Talent
1 part Flair

Splash of Devilry

Serve over ice

Starting early

I don't make New Year's resolutions. However, I do put things on my To Do list, and work at getting them done.

Three new things on my to do list-

1. Clean out the house. Some would say this is spring cleaning, but when spring gets here, I hope to be fishing and camping. I am going through everything in the house and sorting it into 3 piles - keep and put up, garage sale, and trash. I've done this before but never to this extent. the criteria between keep and garage sale is have you used this in the last 6 months. If not, it hits the garage sale.

2. Build a camping trailer. I love to camp. However, due to my disabilities, I can no longer tent camp, so I am building a camping trailer. This is a trailer loosely based on the idea of the old teardrop trailers, with only a bed and a small amount of storage in the cabin, and an outdoor kitchen with the kitchen supplies in the rear under a hatch. The one I am building will have external body dimensions of 8 feet long by 4 feet 9 inches wide by 4 feet tall. All electrical power for interior lights and a vent fan will be supplied by an on board 12 volt battery. I am hoping to keep the total weight loaded and ready to roll to around 1000 pounds or less. With the size and weight of this trailer, hopefully it won't impact my fuel mileage more than about 20 %. If it doesn't, it will get used quite a bit.
I expect construction to start in about a week to a week and a half, and expect it to be useable in approximately 4-5 months. I don't expect it to ever be completely finished as I am an inveterate tinkerer, and will always be tweaking my design. Someone who is a better woodworker with no disabilities and a well equipped shop could probably build this basic design in 1-2 months, but then again, a better woodworker would probably fancy it up quite a bit but that's not my style. I prefer things as basic as possible when I build them, to lessen the chance of mistakes. If you would like more info on this type of trailer, start with Teardrops and Tiny Travel Trailers. Their forum is filled with a great group of people (and 2 or 3 cantankerous old bahstids) who can answer any questions you might possibly have after reading all the posts. They also have free plans (free is always good) for building this type of trailer.

3.Last but definitely not least, I need to try to get my weight back under control. Over the last 3 to 4 years I have picked up a few extra pounds here and there. In my prime, I stood 6 foot 6 inches tall and felt best at about 220 pounds. After the arthritis hit, due to my legs not straightening out all the way, I now stand about 6 foot 4 inches. Also, due to a lack of exercise, which is due to a lack of mobility, I now weigh about 240 pounds. I need to get back down to at least 220 pounds, and 210 would probably be even better, so I need to lose between 20 and 30 pounds. I don't believe in fad diets, or the need for diet pills (in my case). I think I can lose weight by eating 3 to 4 small meals a day, with each meal consisting of a small portion of protein and a portion of vegetables. The first meal of the day will also have a small carbohydrate component for quick energy. My thought are portion control, less carbs and staying away from junk food should allow me to lose about 1 pound a week. I guess we'll see. I'm also looking for some form of low impact exercise to do, to see if it helps.

To all of you that make New Year's resolutions, good luck.

Holiday Wishes

For my liberal friends (both of you):

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

And for my conservative, right wing, gun nut, meat eating friends (all the rest of you):

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Stolen from "Fat Hairy Bastard" 'cause his version is better than the version I stole from someone else.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Why women live longer than men

Sorta sorry I missed this party.
Cheerfully stolen from the "Grouchy Old Cripple".

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Christmas travel redeaux

Well, we made it home ok. Traffic in big city wasn't bad because all the idjits were on I-40 with me. Man I hate drivers that don't pay attention to what they're doing. So, to all you jerks who were eating, talking on the phone, arguing, or even possibly, for all I know, getting stoned, while incidentally doing 70 - 80 mph while sharing the road with me, apply oral suction to my sphincter.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Christmas travel

Well, I guess Christmas travel isn't over for me. I went over to my mother's house to do some "honeydo's" for her, and she reminded me we had one last family Christmas gathering to attend. My older brother is having his family Christmas get together tomorrow in the big city, and we are expected to attend.
Now, my mother rarely drives, so I proudly chauffeur her most places she needs to go. We usually take her Lincoln Town Car (a boat only slightly smaller than the Queen Elizabeth II ocean liner) because it is a little more comfortable for her than my Jeep. I don't usually mind driving that great white whale in rural or small town Oklahoma, but now I have to drive it in the big city again.
I drove truck for eight and one half years and over one million miles accident free all over the United States so I don't believe it to be a lack of skill or confidence on my part, but every time that car gets near big city, someone tries to run into it. I've successfully avoided them for over two years but I have a bad feeling about tomorrow. If anyone reads this, a little prayer said for some divine intervention would be nice.


Last night we had the fourth snow of the year here in Oklahoma, for a total of about 5 or 6 inches of snow and winter just started a few days ago. Will someone tell me what is going on? Historically, we have ~2 ice storms and ~2 snowfalls per season. Now I'm not complaining about the lack of ice, but small towns in Oklahoma aren't really equipped for snow removal, so if this is the beginning of a new weather pattern and I need to buy snow tires I wish someone would let me know.